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Saturday, April 01, 2006 

Human After All

I'm realizing more and more that I'm losing my perspective. Or perhaps it's not so much that I'm losing it, just that it's skewed.

See, I'm happy for people when good things happen for them, but I get a twinge - just a bite - deep in my gut. It's that thought, "why isn't that happening for us?"

I have a friend who just scored a great job working on a newsletter for a Non-Profit. It's perfect; gold; it even pays! And really, I am oh-so-happy for her. These jobs are hard to come by and as writers we must support one another when these things happen. But, there's that feeling again - "why not me?"

And then the mind fucking begins and the whispering starts.

It's because I suck; because I'm worthless. I can't get through to anyone. No one wants to read what I write. I'm fat.

But it's all so ridiculous because I have so much. I am so blessed. It's this convoluted pattern repeating itself.

Like I said, my perspective seems to be skewed lately.

It's gonna happen to you too Sara! Keep your chin up and I promise it will happen.

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